So, my life right now is like a big hot mess, only really it's rather cold (thanks weather and immune system). Between dealing with school, family, animals, keeping up with the house, money, and my health (I'm ignoring my social life here cause compared to everything else it's nothing), I'm spread thin. Winter is nearing an end, but it's the last stretch that gets me. Like when you've been gone for a while, and you've spent hours driving home.. On the last bit of the drive, when everything is familiar again, and you know you're close.. It seems so so far away. That's where I'm at with the seasons. School work is daunting and never-ending, and everything else I mentioned above I won't be writing about because really it's too much to say and I haven't the time (Really don't have the time to be writing any of this, to be honest).
The point of this, which I thought was funny and wanted to share with the internet here on my lonely blog, is to tell a very quick story. My friend was over, we were doing homework together, and venting to each other about our clusterfuck lives. I had to go, mid-study, to take care of my horse, as is usual. I have been sick, for quite some time now (an actual amount of time written would only depress me, so quite some time is what we will stick with), and I've been losing weight, and I find myself in tears several times a day, and often doze off for a few moments, whenever my body is still and I'm not in class (or driving, though there have been some close calls there). My friend is, needless to say, worried about me. What she said to me, as I was leaving, was this:
"You look really beautiful,"
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes, everything is going to shit and I can barely make it through a day in one piece. But at least I'm pretty."
It's funny because, being pretty has always been so important to me. And now I have the pretty thing down fairly well. I can now see how helpful it is in every other aspect of my life.
ha.
